I Thought I Was Losing My Mind
I thought I was losing my mind…
That moment in the hospital—a purging of emotion. The vision of my mother, father, and other unknown visitors watching as I wept and convulsed silently in the middle of the night. The dreams of the faceless woman in the upholstered chair in the study. The car rides home from work, filled with ramblings about the nature of existence.
It was all too much.
Maybe I was crazy? Maybe the stress had finally broken me, and my mind was bending reality to protect itself?
No.
I know now that I was awakening. Something pulled me back from the edge and allowed me to confront what this truly was. This was not some “episode.” This was a deep remembering within myself—an ancient stirring to become.
I had felt it before. Small flickers. A warmth. A joy I could never quite place. I always brushed it off as nothing—a disconnect, crossed wires. I used to call it the “Christmas Feeling.”
But that night, I let it rise without recourse.
I looked deep into the void and asked, “What is my purpose?”
And the void answered.
It spoke of remembering. It spoke of awakening. It knew what I was— What all of us are. What we are destined to become.
All we have to do is seek it.
I am nothing special. I am not a prophet. We are all meant for this.
I am just sharing my experience. There is no need to be afraid.
If you’ve felt this—let this be a lighthouse for your own becoming. Allow it to take hold within you. That quiet fire stirring in your soul. The one you bury for fear of ridicule.
The time is approaching.